Memoir-Family+Lesson-Paige

A Family Lesson That Has Helped Me Throughout Life Paige F

A couple years ago, I learned a valuable lesson that has improved my relationship with my sister, Abby, immensely. Abby is three years younger than me, which means she is also three grades below me. As I would come home with straight A’s and marvelous notes from my teachers, Abby always congratulated me. With my sister and my parent’s help and support, my confidence level is still at its highest point and will never slide down. However, this story was changed a little bit as my sister grew up and got grades. As the years leaped on, Abby began to get magnificent grades, too. My parents still complimented her, but the sister compliments weren’t always there. Her confidence level was rising and dropping at a completely different rate than mine was at that age. When she brought home tests that needed to be signed like I had done before, being the older one, I looked through it and focused more on the questions she got wrong, rather than the ones she got right. At that time I thought I was helping her, but really I was just dragging her confidence level down like an eraser just brushing away. Now, my parents realized this occurring although I didn’t, and both thought of some sayings to help my sister’s confidence level be at the highest point it can be at like mine. So, as I remember, I was laying in my bed one night just reading a magazine when my mom knocked on my door. “ Can I come in sweetie, I think we need to have a talk,” she repeated. “ Sure, what is it?” I questioned as she strolled in. At first I thought I was I trouble, but as I realized her calm tone, I knew it wasn’t anything too big. She would’ve had at least a little resentment in her voice. “ This is about your sister and I need your help with something,” she answered with a smile on her face. The thing I most remember from our little talk was this one sentence, “ Abby cherishes you and takes everything you say seriously because you are her role model.” As I slept that night, that sentence kept running over and over again and it seemed it was never ending, like the road trip to Minnesota every summer. But I realized that all the notes Abby brought home from school and even the soccer trophies, I always pointed out the negative things when Abby had always pointed out the positive things with my stuff. I knew my confidence level was at its highest point, but partly because of my sister’s support. Now I knew Abby’s confidence level could never be that high when I wasn’t giving her positive feedback. My mom told me that when I told Abby stuff she could work on, she worked on it because she thought that’s what I would do. She wanted to be just like me. I had an inaudibly feeling in my stomach appear right when I realized what I had been doing. I apologized to my sister for all the pessimistic feedback I had pushed into her face, and still to this day, when I accidentally do it. Of course, sweet Abby understands and just gives me a gargantuan hug. So whenever my dad or my mom sees me tearing away Abby’s confidence, all they quietly say is “build up, don’t tear down.” The nasty feeling in my stomach always comes back when I give Abby negative comments, but disappears when I fill that hole with positive comments. So I have many reminders, which is good, because to this day I still regret all those negative comments I gave Abby. Happily, Abby’s confidence level is still climbing and is almost to its highest point, but it hardly ever slides down now. I have realized that it is much easier to be supportive, and to have a full eraser with both Abby and myself at all times.